


those are the days that bind us together (forever)

by missjmelville



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - World War II, Angst with a Happy Ending, Forbidden Love, Love Letters, M/M, Secret Relationship, World War II
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-18
Updated: 2020-12-18
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:14:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28141461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/missjmelville/pseuds/missjmelville
Summary: The trench wall is cold and hard at his back and if asked, that’ll be his excuse for getting up and moving around, but what he’s really after is somewhere a bit more private to open the mystery letter. He has an inkling who it’s from and he’s quite sure whatever is written there, he doesn’t want anyone else reading it.A wartime fling, love letters and forbidden romance. Buck the soldier meets Eddie the medic during WWII.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 144





	those are the days that bind us together (forever)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [matan4il](https://archiveofourown.org/users/matan4il/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Through the Fire](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26915452) by [matan4il](https://archiveofourown.org/users/matan4il/pseuds/matan4il). 



> For my dear Alice aka [matan4il](%E2%80%9C) happy Hanukkah!

“Buckley, mail!” The voice rang out a second before a small stack of letters was thrown into his lap, narrowly missing his cup of lukewarm broth that was perched on his knee while he took a quick nap. 

It was a surprise to get mail today. He hadn’t gotten anything for weeks but the size of the stack indicated that maybe Maddie hadn’t forgotten about him and instead the mail had been delayed getting to him. It made him smile for the first time in weeks.

There are six letters from Maddie all addressed to him in her neat, flowing script. He brings the envelopes to his face and breathes in, there is just the tiniest wisp of her perfume still clinging to the thick parchment. He’s so glad that she didn’t get shipped off overseas somewhere, even tending returned wounded soldiers as she is is too close to the war for his comfort. 

There’s a seventh envelope, nondescript and thinner than those from Maddie, made of cheaper stock and simply addressed to 'Buck' in a messy scrawl as if it was written in a hurry. So not posted from the States, that much is clear. He hesitates, fingers hovering over the flap. Someone coughs nearby and he tucks it away in his breast pocket, eyes shifting around in case anyone was watching. They’re not. 

He takes the neat stack from Maddie and works his way through six weeks of news from home. When he gets to the fourth letter and Maddie writes, proper as ever, “I have some unfortunate news, Doug has become a casualty of the war, his plane shot down over Europe,” and she goes on about how dreadful it is, how terribly awful it is that he’ll never come home. 

But Buck is good at reading between the lines. He knows she’s relieved, finally free of that abusive asshole. He’s only mad he didn’t get to do the deed himself. Well, for this one thing he can thank the Nazis. He takes note of a few blotches on the page, tears of joy no doubt. Maddie really knew how to sell it in case anyone read her letter as they were wont to do in wartime. 

She can’t be seen to be grateful for the Nazis for shooting down her abusive husband lest she be tried for treason but the Buckley siblings are good at reading between the lines and he knows his sister well. He feels a swell of relief overtake him, knowing now that no matter what happens to him, Maddie will be okay. If he doesn’t make it home, at least she won’t need any saving from Doug. 

When he’s done reading through her last two letters, still full of overly dramatic words of grief that give him a good chuckle as he imagines her glee while writing them, he folds them all up carefully and stashes them away in a small tin he keeps on his person at all times. 

It’s positively overflowing with letters by this point but he manages to stuff the six new ones in there and keeps the tin shut with some string wrapped tightly around it. 

The trench wall is cold and hard at his back and if asked, that’ll be his excuse for getting up and moving around, but what he’s really after is somewhere a bit more private to open the mystery letter. He has an inkling who it’s from and he’s quite sure whatever is written there, he doesn’t want anyone else reading it. 

He finds a secluded corner away from his platoon and leans into it, out of the chill of the wind and out of sight of anyone walking past who isn’t actively searching for him. 

He’ll have to read it fast if he wants to be able to use the last of the daylight to read by, the clouds overhead are thick and black, rain due any minute, the sun creeping slowly towards the horizon behind them. 

His hands shake as he pulls the envelope out of his pocket and unfolds it. It’s just the cold, or so he tells himself, as he carefully slides the flap open and pulls out the letter. It’s barely one page and the writing is small and slanted as if written in a hurry. 

“Dear Evan, 

I probably shouldn’t be writing any of this down and I dearly hope no one else reads this. Collins said it would make its way to you unopened but it’s always a risk. 

I hope your injuries are fully healed and that you haven’t accumulated any new ones, lord knows you’re accident prone at the best of times, and without me there to watch your back I worry. 

I miss you. If it’s not too bold of me to say, even if it is, I miss you constantly. I miss sneaking out of the barracks to meet up in the forest and watch the stars together. I miss your smile and your laugh. I miss your mouth on mine.“

Buck’s hands shake as he clenches the page tightly, biting his lip to stop the noise he wants to make, his eyes sting fiercely. He never knew it could hurt this much to be in love. He takes a breath, two, then continues to read. 

“I won’t apologise for missing you. But I am sorry we parted the way we did. That I didn’t get to say goodbye, or feel your skin on mine one more time. I’m not mad that you left me behind, I could never be on the front lines like you, I have to think of Christopher. Orders are orders. As much as I want to see you again, I dread the day as it would mean you are injured again, maybe worse. It doesn’t bear thinking about.”

Eddie’s words break something inside of Buck. A wish for a better life, to be happy and loved, a life they will never get even if they both make it out of this war alive. The last rays of the sun peek out from behind the clouds. Buck’s fingers are numb as they hold the paper in a trembling grip. 

He reads the last line again, holding it close to his heart, memorising it. He can’t risk keeping the letter. He’ll have to burn it later. 

“I’ve got your back as I hope you have mine,  
Forever yours,  
E  
xx”

The pages crinkle as he folds them back up and tucks them inside his shirt pocket, taking up the same space as his photo of Maddie, close to his heart. 

It was smart of Eddie not to say anything in his letter that could get them both in trouble. As vague as he has left it, if anyone were to read it they would assume it was a nurse who had written to him. 

Months pass, the war is over. Buck can’t quite believe he made it this far, through the middle and out the other side relatively unscathed. He has a few more scars than when he started and a whole host of new nightmares but he’s sort of grateful for his father for pushing him to sign up. At least that meant he didn’t have to watch his elderly parents waste away and listen to their constant put-downs. He’s glad Maddie and Doug had moved away from Hershey as soon as they could and he’s extra glad Doug is gone and Maddie has a beautiful house all her own.

Which is where he ends up once the war is ended. He’d lived in a small shared flat before the war, but when he signed up the lease was never renewed so someone else probably lived there now. He didn’t mind, Maddie had all his things anyway. 

It’s so peaceful sitting out on the back porch, listening to the neighbourhood kids running around yelling and laughing in the sun. Buck can still feel the phantom cold deep in his bones but it’s getting better every day. And if, on occasion, the joyful screaming of the kids mixes with the cries of dying soldiers in his head, he doesn’t tell anyone. 

He nearly lost his leg in his last battle and once he got home, a month before everything ended, he was left here with Maddie to recuperate. It’s been slow going but with his sister’s determination and his own stubborn will to walk properly again, he manages it. For the most part.

Reaching into his pocket he pulls out a crumpled piece of paper, Eddie’s letter. He’s lost count of the amount of times he’s read it by now, he knows every line off by heart but it’s all he’s got. He doesn’t know where Eddie lives, only that it’s in Texas. He doesn’t know if Eddie even made it home.

It’s been over two years since Buck last saw Eddie and thirteen months since he received the letter he holds in his hands. It was the first and last letter he ever received from Eddie. 

“You should try and find him,” Maddie’s voice is a sudden shock behind him. He startles so badly he almost falls out of his chair but Maddie is there in an instant, face contrite and hands fluttering by his arm as if to help him up. But he just settles back into his seat. Tries to ignore the thundering of his pulse in his ears.

“I’m sorry,” she murmurs, as she brushes a hand through his curls. 

“I’m not finding him, Maddie, he could be dead for all I know, it’s better like this,” He hides the shaking of his hands by stuffing the letter back into his pocket. Maddie is the only living soul he’s told about Eddie. She’s the only one he trusts one hundred percent to not try and get him arrested, beaten up or killed for who he loves.

“You’re miserable, Buck,” she sits down beside him on the bench, one hand delicately resting on his shoulder, the other reaching to grasp one of his own.

“Maddie, please!” He doesn’t pull away, he can’t, he loves his sister too much but on top of everything else? The possibility of finding out for sure one way or the other whether Eddie is still alive or not? It haunts him.

“There’s an Edmundo Diaz from El Paso, Texas that serves as a medic in Los Angeles right now,” she blurts out suddenly, as if she can’t keep it in any longer.

His head whips around to face her so suddenly his neck twinges. 

“What?” His voice is barely recognisable even to himself. Hoarse and low, cracking in the middle.

“I did some digging,” she shrugs as if it was no big deal, as if she didn’t sleuth her way into finding Eddie. Buck’s Eddie. Because there’s no way there’s another Edmundo Diaz from El Paso that served as an army Medic. It’s too specific. 

“Are you sure?” And this time his voice is steadier, heart lighter with something like hope as he stares into his sister’s reassuring gaze.

And that’s how, a week later, he finds himself fidgeting with the hem of his shirt as he walks up the driveway of a neat-looking little house, nerves almost getting the best of him. He parked around the corner and walked here. He’s turned around and come back three times already. Every step closer to the house, closer to the front door, makes his heart beat louder and louder.

His hands are sweating. He wipes them on his thighs, the denim of his pants is uncomfortable in the sweltering LA heat. He should have worn something lighter. He fiddles with the buttons of his shirt, takes a step backwards, stops, then continues his previous trek towards the house.

It’s ridiculous. He’s ridiculous. He shouldn’t be so nervous. He and Eddie had shared something special, they had told each other everything and yet walking up the path to the front door, Buck is struck with worry. What if Eddie was still with his ex-wife? What if he never wanted to see Buck again? What if he sneered in Buck’s face and made out like it was all nothing? But that’s not Eddie. 

_You only knew him for three weeks,_ his mind supplies, the traitor. And it's true, they had only been together for a short time. But in the middle of a war it had felt like a lifetime. When every moment could be your last, three weeks was more than enough.

The front porch creaks under his feet as he takes the three steps slowly and with care. Then it’s just him and the front door. He raises a fist to knock, lowers it and then raises it again. God, could he be more of a coward? _Buck up, Buck,_ he thinks as he takes a deep breath and reaches out to knock, finally, on the shiny red door.

He’s only knocked twice when the door swings open in front of him. A pretty young woman with long brown hair smiles softly over her shoulder at someone and then as she turns to face Buck, the smile turns colder, more polite.

“Can I help you?” she asks, and her voice is soft but he can hear the undercurrent of suspicion. Maybe he has the wrong house, does she think he’s here to rob her? She’s still staring at him as Buck stutters trying to find the words.

And then everything just melts away because there he is. Eddie. Framed in the light from the other end of the hallway, standing a few feet behind the woman, tall and handsome and just how Buck remembered him.

“Buck,” Eddie says softly and full of wonder, face morphing from polite nonchalance to brimming hope in a millisecond.

Then Eddie is standing right in front of him and Buck couldn’t for the life of him say where the woman went but she’s gone now and it’s just him and Eddie. Hovering in the doorway staring at each other like awkward teenagers.

“You wanna come in?” Eddie asks finally, moving back from the doorway and holding the door wide for Buck to come inside. Buck is still having trouble making his brain work, let alone make words come out of his mouth but he nods shortly and stumbles over the threshold, turning to keep Eddie in his line of sight as Eddie closes the door behind them.

Eddie is smiling softly as he leads Buck into the living room, it looks nice and cosy, photos lining the mantle of a happy family, Eddie, Chris and the woman that answered the door. He feels cold dread pool in his stomach, that was Shannon then. Eddie’s ex who is clearly not as much of an ex as he thought. Buck feels suddenly like he shouldn’t have come. This was a bad idea.

Eddie directs Buck to sit down on one of the couches and then perches on his own seat directly in front of Buck, hovering on the edge like he’s ready to spring up at a moment's notice.

“I can’t believe you’re here,” Eddie blurts out, brilliant smile breaking out over his handsome face and for a second Buck believes it, that Eddie is glad to see him, that it’s all okay, but then his eyes wander again to the pictures. This isn’t right. 

“I shouldn’t have come here,” Buck goes to stand but Eddie stops him, one hand steady on his shoulder, the other clasping his knee. The hurt on Eddie’s face is almost unbearable.

“No, what… Buck,” Eddie’s eyes rove over Buck’s face, searching for something. Buck doesn’t know if he finds it or not, but the next second Eddie is leaning closer. Lips brushing softly together. The noise that escapes Buck is something between a whine and a sob as he reaches out and pulls Eddie close, manoeuvres them until Eddie is kneeling between Buck’s legs on the floor and Buck is leaning down hands cupping Eddie’s jaw so softly.

They part on shaky breaths, lips tingling and damp. The warm puff of Eddie’s breath against Buck’s face is familiar and comforting. His hands tremble where they touch Eddie’s skin, unsure but wanting.

The soft click of heels alerts Buck to the fact that they are no longer alone and he pulls back quickly, heat rising to his cheeks, hands up in defence as he tries to stutter out some sort of explanation but the words die on his lips as Shannon looks down at them both from the doorway, smile in place.

Eddie doesn’t even flinch away, just rests one hand securely on Buck’s knee and with the other, laces their fingers together as he glances up at Shannon and then looks back at Buck.

“What…” It's the only word Buck can get out of his mouth. His heart is pounding and he’s simultaneously terrified and also really aware of how close Eddie is and how long it's been since they were last this close, and what happened then too. 

“It’s okay,” Eddie says with a soft smile, eyes not leaving Buck’s face, “she knows, it’s okay.” And just like that, all the tension leaves Buck because out of the corner of his eye he can see how happy Shannon looks as she watches them, that she has no problem with their closeness, with their relationship. 

“I’ll go check on Chris,” she says and leaves them to it, alone again in their little bubble of privacy. 

“A divorce seemed too hard on Chris and she’s still his mother and my friend, it’s easier this way,” Eddie says as if answering Buck’s unasked question, “No one will ask questions or assume anything,” and Buck gets it, he does. 

It’s hard enough being single and looked down on when people find out he doesn’t have a wife but if they found out he was with another man? As forbidden as their fling had been in a war zone, it’s not much safer now that they’re home either. But maybe they can make it work. Buck wants to make it work.

“I missed you,” he confesses like it’s a secret, “I can’t even believe you’re here in LA!” He stares at Eddie in wonder, hope and love and happiness blooming inside him with every moment that passes. 

“We were in need of a change of scenery,” Eddie replied with a fond look, “and I had hoped to reconnect with this cute soldier I met. You’d love him, curly hair, adorable birthmark over his eye,” Eddie smiled, dimples showing as his eyes crinkled with happiness. 

Buck couldn’t stop the delighted laugh that escaped him even if he’d wanted to. He leant forward into Eddie’s space again to capture his lips in a chaste kiss, awkward for the smiles they both sported but perfect all the same. For this one thing, this spark of happiness, this precious meeting of kindred souls, Buck was glad that the war had happened to bring them together. 

“I love you,” he whispered against Eddie’s lips, clutching Eddie tightly, foreheads pressed together, “I love you so much,”

Eddie laughed softly and full of joy, unshed tears shining in his eyes. “I love you too,” and they kissed again, a perfect moment of happiness that made every moment until then worth it, just for this.


End file.
